2 months

Tomorrow is 1st May 2010, Joash if you still in mummy's tummy you would be 27 weeks 5 days. I really do miss you so much. Feeling so melancolic as I am sitting at Hongkong cafe. Sitting here see so many parent bringing their babies and pushing prams around and background music playing Chinese song that goes 為什麼要離開我，是不是我做 錯了什麼。。。really sometimes I am still thinking what have I done wrong to deserve such thing. Joash how I wish you are still here and around.

Yah Lan came and took our cgm yesterday... She preached abt the sacrifies of praise in difficult time. I understand and understood totAlly. As my EDD is approaching the more I feel lousy and frustrated because I know there will not be a bb in my arms to hold and cuddle. God teach me to be positive and continue to trust in ur faithfulnnes and love for us. 我要有一個勇敢的心。

It's finally here

Yes it's finally here... AF is here... for the 1st time I am so happy you are here finally!!!
Time for me to plan and try again......

Meet a friend yesterday at iretro, she asked me how's everything and thought that I had already delivered my baby. Yes I had but came out dead. Then I met another friend and she was pregnant with her 2nd child, she's about 5 month plus into her pregnancy... how jealous I am and how much I missed being pregnant.

What Makes a Mother

45 days passed

Today is the 45th day Joash but it seems so long long long . Actual fact is, it's not long at all but mommy has been too eager trying to get pregnant again cause I just want a baby to hold as i miss you too much.

Till now both mommy and daddy still talk about you, think about you. Joash we never stopped missing you...how about you? Do you think of us often too?

Joash if you are still in mommy's tummy you will be 25 weeks and 3 days. How I wish you are still around!

Bless the Lord O my soul

Bless the Lord O my soul and let all that's within me bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord O my soul and forget not His benefits.

I command my soul to bless the Lord always, even in circumstances which I don't feel like it. I want to continue trusting in God, that He will always provide, He is omni-potent, His mercies is new every morning.......His plan for me is always good and my hope and future is already crafted in His hands.

Lord, I want to draw closer to You, help me in the area of my unbelief and faithlessness. Restore to me happiness and joy.Help me believe, help me overcome help me know even though I can't see Your hands but I can trust Your heart, Lord I pray.